Just a Little Bit
by Foxy'sGirl
Summary: Based during Season 3, Episode 1. Car's introspections on growing up, and being treated like a kid.


**Based during Season 3, Episode 1**

00000

Carl isn't an idiot, and after everything that's happened in the last year, he sure as hell isn't the suburban eighth grader he was when the dead first rose. He's seen people die, people he loved, he's felt the pain of losing a father, and the heart stopping joy of getting him back only to watch him walk back into harm's way again and again and again.

He has a gun, and a knife, and 17 spare bullets in his back pocket. He's practically a man, only not as tall…yet.

He's doing his best to help keep everything together, keep his mom safe for his little brother…or sister, and his dad finally respects him as one of the men.

But even now, he isn't allowed to share a room with Beth. He's not even sure that he'd want to if he could, but the fact that Hershel _kicked_ him out is bugging him. The guy didn't even say anything, just gave them this _look_, like they'd been doing something wrong, when they weren't doing anything at all.

Carl wasn't even moving his stuff in, really, just thinking about it and looking at the mattresses. It's not like there's a door to close or anything…and he probably doesn't even want to close a door.

Probably.

He's still looking at the angles. He's not sure either way.

But being cut off before he really even started making up his mind is all sorts of irritating. It's like being banished back to the kids table at Thanksgiving when he's the oldest kid and the youngest adult is only a few months older than him.

Or three years, he guesses that's a little more accurate here.

But it's not even like three years is that big of a deal, his dad is older than his mom by like 2 years, and no one freaked out over that when they were in high school. Maybe it's some stupid high school rule about the guy being older, but what's the point in listening to that now?

Something that this whole apocalypse has taught him is that parents keep thinking how they've always thought, even if it doesn't make sense anymore.

They're probably still going to keep him from learning to drive until he's sixteen. Ugh, they probably won't let him drive at all because he didn't take some dumb drivers' test.

Anyway though, it's not like he wants to make some big dramatic deal about _liking_ Beth or anything, because it's not like he's even thought about her _all_ that much, but it's nearly impossible not to think about it.

Before Shane got crazy, Carl would have just asked. Should he like Beth? Is it stupid to like Beth? If he asks his mom, she'll just insist that he's too young to like girls, and his dad will just assume it's serious.

Shane said something once, about how Rick was 'the marrying kind.' His mom had been happy about the comment, but Shane didn't say it like a compliment, and that was one of the only times Carl had seen his dad looking embarrassed about something. It really made Carl think, because his dad always seemed more serious than Shane, but Shane never seemed carefree either.

Well, that was before everything went crazy. Maybe his dad isn't 'the marrying kind' anymore, and he'd understand if Carl just liked Beth, just a little bit, and wanted to get to know her more without any intention of marrying her. Plus, she might end up being not anything like he would suspect, if he sat down to put together an opinion.

Plus, he's only just thirteen _and_ he hasn't seen a single minister in months, so there's really no sense in worrying about marriage anyway.

He almost had his first kiss once, about two weeks before his dad got shot, at a birthday party for one of the girls in his geography class. Everyone had wanted to play spin the bottle and he'd just sat there, toes crossed so tight that they went numb hoping the bottle wouldn't end up pointing at him.

It never did, and the game got interrupted by the girl's parents after only a few turns, but looking back, he wishes he'd gotten a chance.

Not that he really liked any of those girls, not even as much as he likes Beth and definitely not as much as he liked Sophia, but it seems awfully unfair that he's stuck thinking about this stuff _on top of_ keeping the camp safe and finding food. Maybe if he'd dipped his toes into the…dating pool back when stuff was still normal, he wouldn't be so cut up about it now.

He frowns glancing at his mom sitting with Hershel. He can just see her smile if he told her he might _like_ Beth. And it's not a happy smile, it's more like a gentle smirk, like she used to give him when his dad's hat was way too big and fell down over his eyes. The smirk of a mother glad to have a reason to look at her boy as a kid.

It's like his mom's brain got frozen when everything collapsed, and she doesn't even notice that his voice cracks now, and he had 3 armpit hairs the last time they got the chance to shower.

It kind of sucks that two are on the left and only one is on the right, and he really hopes that they even out eventually. Mostly though, he really hopes that he'll live to see an eventually, and that it won't be so awful that he doesn't stop to think about his armpit hairs. He hopes that someday he can look back and realize that armpit hairs were never anything to worry about in the first place.

Carl used to hope that they'd find somewhere untouched by walkers, but honestly, now he'd be content with a fence and a blessing to like Beth, even if it's just a little bit.

00000

**Randomly found this on my hard drive, and although I have negligible memory of actually writing it, I thought it was good enough to share. **

**If you liked it, please oh please drop a review? It's my first story in the fandom, and I'm a wee bit nervous…**


End file.
